There is perhaps no greater point of contention than the G-spot. Does it exist? Is it just a myth? How does it work? What do I do with it when, or if, I find it? I’ll try to address these questions, however I must admit to being a late member to the G-spot camp. Like many men in their early years, my focus wasn’t always as attuned to my partner’s needs as it should have been. Let’s face it guys, it is pretty damn obvious when we have an orgasm. Women vary. Some can be very subtle while others act as if they are possessed. Men, as a rule, heat up faster than women.
[read more=”Click here to Read More” less=”Read Less”]
If we aren’t patient, we get there before she does. To stroke our egos, many women will fake an orgasm then. Unless you know your partner well, it can be difficult to detect if she is faking. I believe I know when a woman has faked it, but I have no doubts that I have missed a few imposters along the way. There is no faking when a man cums. There is a mess everywhere! I had been sexually active for a good number of years before I became truly aware of the power of the G-spot. I’ll share what I know, but I don’t have the same depth of research to draw on with this topic.
So where is this so called “G-spot?” Just like the clit, it can vary a bit in position from woman to woman, but generally it is on the front wall of her pussy, about 1 to 2 knuckles in. That is NOT to say that is the only place she gets stimulation. Our understanding of how a woman is stimulated and attains orgasm has been somewhat of a mystery. However, recent studies suggest that the clit and the G-spot, along with other tissue in the vagina, are interconnected by a system of nerves. I have had partners say they can sometimes feel stimulated on their clit when I am rubbing their G-spot, so I believe this to be correct. Those nerves run along and around the vagina. However the largest concentration by far is in the clit. If you want to be sure your woman cums, the clit is the way to go. Some women can orgasm from penetration, but the percentage is small. Those women likely have more nerves in their vagina and receive enough stimulation that way. Another reason might be that during sex, the penis is rubbing the G-spot just right and causes enough stimulation for orgasm.
You might be asking if every woman has a G-spot or can cum from stimulation to her G-spot. I’m afraid I cannot answer that question. As I mentioned, my knowledge of the G-spot came later in my sexual experiences. I can say that once I started paying attention, I have found that every partner I’ve been with has had one. Some are more sensitive than others. I know that sounds like a broken record that every woman is different, but that can’t be stressed enough. I’ll repeat what I have said in my other stories. Communication and exploration are key. Talk to your partner as you explore. Let her tell you what she is feeling. If you aren’t comfortable enough to have a conversation like that during sex, maybe you should rethink if you are comfortable enough to be having sex. I’m not saying a one night stand doesn’t have an appeal, but even then, if you are only hooking up to fuck, shouldn’t you try to make the fucking better? Just saying…
We know where the G-spot is generally located. So when should we go looking for it? Great question! Just as the clit is easier to find once a woman is aroused, the same applies here, and even more so. If you put a finger inside her within a few minutes of making your move, you may not feel much difference. Likewise, neither will she. Things need to be warmed up for the search to be fruitful. The best time to look is just before an orgasm or after. The nerves are all firing, blood is rushing to the area, and everything is go for liftoff. If you are spending ample time working on her clit with your tongue, she will get worked up. If she isn’t, go read my story on eating pussy.
Once she is very aroused, and very wet, slide a finger inside her. I like to use my middle finger, because it is my “fuck you” finger. Also, it is longer and easier to reach where it needs to. If she is lying on her back, you should be holding your hand palm up. By the time your second knuckle is at the entrance to her pussy, you should be able to feel a slight difference in the feel of the front wall. However, distance and location may vary. Rotate your hand and feel the sides and back walls. They are relatively smooth and soft. Now feel the front wall again. It should feel a little rougher. Not like sandpaper for goodness sakes! This is still a pussy. The difference is subtle. Feel around to see how it changes. It might bulge a little there too. As a woman becomes aroused, this area can definitely swell a little bit. My guess is that women who orgasm from penetration swell quite a bit, making it easier for the head of her partner’s cock to rub it better. I would love to hear thoughts on that from my readers.
If you know she is very aroused, even perhaps after an orgasm, and you still cannot find a spot like I am describing, your partner may just be wired a little differently. It could still be there, but not obvious. Go ahead and try some of the stimulation techniques I will describe in the same general area and see if she responds. If she still doesn’t, don’t fret. You still have her clit to work on. Master your tongue technique and she will be very happy. Trust me.
You can likely feel her pelvic bone there also. Quite often the G-spot is just behind the “ledge” of that bone. Given that you have given her time to get aroused, it is much more difficult to be too rough here than it is on her clit. That is NOT carte blanche to forego being careful and gentle. But you can put a lot more pressure here than you can her clit. Oh, and by the way guys, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS!! Nothing cools the moment like a fingernail scraping the inside of her pussy. Just practice good hygiene all around, ok?
What I like to do is tease my partner and use my tongue on her clit for quite a while before I start on her G-spot. It is easier to find, and it adds to her orgasm. Sometimes I will only focus on her clit and make sure she has an orgasm first before I ever slide a finger inside of her. Unlike the clit which can become very sensitive after an orgasm, the G-spot is prime for stimulation then. In fact, the G-spot is the key to multiple orgasms. I’ll talk about that in a later story. For now, just remember to wait until she is close to orgasm or has just had one before you start your exploration. It will make your life easier.
Your partner is ready. For the purposes of this description, let’s assume she has had an orgasm. While she is just starting to recover from that, slide that middle finger inside her. Remember, palm up, assuming she is on her back while you were eating her. Get your finger good and wet by sliding it in and out a couple of times. Then on one of those slides back in, start to apply a little pressure on the front wall as you enter. Use a series of strokes to work your way along. Start off with just the tip, yes, just the tip. (Yeah, I love saying that. Sue me!) Each stroke of your finger gets a little deeper, maybe a quarter inch further each time. When you start to feel the difference, that is likely the G-spot. You can go a little further, but you shouldn’t have to get your finger all the way in, unless you have tiny fingers. You may be able to feel the pelvic bone in that same area. With my current partner, I can sort of rub her G-spot against the bone. Experiment to see how much pressure she likes.
The common direction for stimulating the G-spot is to use the “come here” motion of crooking the tip of your finger toward you. That is a great beginning, but it should not be your only move. Expand your bag of tricks! You can keep your finger stiff and slide it in and out of her at a slight angle forward, rubbing the spot with your finger as you do. You can also rub sideways back and forth. On some women, you will feel a ridge of tissue running parallel with your finger. That tissue usually has some good nerve spots in it. Try rubbing your finger sideways back and forth across that ridge. I like to find one motion that is working and stick with it until she orgasms. Then I can change up my technique and bring her to another. Whichever technique you use, go slow. As she gets close to an orgasm, you can speed up, but a slow rub and pressure do a lot here.
Another technique is to push your finger in far enough that is passes over the G-spot, then push your finger against the front wall after it has passed that spot of rough, swollen tissue, You are sort of on the back of the G-spot now and can apply pressure and stimulation with it between your finger and the pelvic bone. It is surprising how much pressure you can apply there and it still feels good. Don’t go all out at first, work up to it. Your partner might not tolerate as much.
You can also try 2 fingers. When I do this, I put one on each side of that ridge of tissue I mentioned. Then I rub them sideways back and forth across that ridge. My best explanation of what it feels like is a tendon. You should be able to feel it almost jumping as you rub across it with pressure, like a guitar string if you put pressure against it and rub across. It will roll under your finger.
Finally my last main technique is to push my finger as far in as I can and wiggle the tip. There seems to often be a spot even a bit further in than the G-spot that can be sensitive. However I usually save this spot for the 3rd or 4th orgasm. She needs to be pretty worked up for that one to bring her off. The orgasms she has can feel very different. My current partner will say that some feel very localized while some she can feel all through her body. Rubbing, stroking, and applying pressure on the various areas will cause different sensations. Again, explore and find out how your woman responds to them.
One other approach is to do this while your partner lies on her stomach. If you are between her legs and behind her, you will rotate your hand so it is palm down. For some men, this is more comfortable. Also, the woman can straddle a pillow, a stuffed animal, or anything that rubs against her clit. It can feel good to grind against that while you are exploring her pussy and stimulating her G-spot. In either position, you may try a vibrator on her clit at the same time.
We have talked about using the finger to stimulate the G-spot. However you can do the same with your cock. My first true realization about the G-spot was with a woman who was very sensitive there. You could pretty much make her cum at will. In the cowgirl position, the head of my cock hit her G-spot perfectly. We found just the right angle and we lost count of how many orgasms she had. It was dozens. I don’t say that to brag as I have never accomplished anything close to that before or after. She was a true exception. I will admit it made me feel like superman though! The point is, find an angle where you can rub across her G-spot with your cock as you fuck. While doggy style is fun, it can be difficult to stimulate her properly that way unless you take a pretty sharp angle down into her. That isn’t always comfortable. With missionary, again depending on the angle, a pillow under her helps, you can slide against the G-spot with a little effort and practice. Cowgirl works well too. She can take a more active role in finding the angle that works for her. I have also found a position I like where the man is on his back, the woman is on top facing away, but the man’s legs are on the outside of her legs and on top of them. She is almost in the doggy position. If your cock has a downward curve, this might work even better for you. Try out the different positions and concentrate on trying to hit that spot on your strokes.
A good number of women have stronger orgasms through their own efforts than when having sex. Using a vibrator on her clit can bring an intense feeling. It can be difficult for a man to replicate this with either his fingers or his tongue. Here is the great news guys! While there are toys out there that supposedly stimulate the G-spot, none are as flexible and effective as your finger! To have enough rigidity to penetrate her, and also hold the electronics for the vibration if the toy has it, it loses the ability to bend and adapt. Your finger is extremely adaptable. This is an area where you can excel! Take advantage of it!
You have a lot to try out. The G-spot isn’t nearly as straight forward as the clit. Many women swear they don’t have one. Obviously I can’t know for certain, and we agree that women do vary. However I suspect that a woman who says that has just never had any luck finding it herself, nor has she had a partner that was willing to put in the work to find it. It can be elusive and may take a lot of arousal before it really wakes up. However, if you do find it, you open the gate to many more opportunities to pleasure your partner.